One of the hardest part of leaving a high-control religion isn't changing your beliefs. It's learning how to trust your Self afterward. After spending decades in ministry as a pastor, missionary, and church planter, I know what it's like to lose the map. I also know it's possible to find your way forward.
Hi, I'm Jake.
I'm a former pastor, missionary, and church planter who spent years immersed in evangelical Christianity before beginning a journey of questioning, deconstruction, and healing. Leaving behind the beliefs and identity that once defined me wasn't easy, but it ultimately led me to a deeper sense of authenticity, freedom, and self-trust.
I didn't just grow up in the church. I was immersed in evangelicalism. My dad was a pastor, and all four of my older brothers became pastors too. I followed the same path, attending the same Bible college, studying at the same seminary, surrendering my life to full-time ministry, becoming one of the pastors at a megachurch, and eventually moving overseas as a missionary and church planter.
For decades,
my entire identity was wrapped up in Christian ministry. I believed I had found my purpose in serving god and helping "build his Kingdom."
Living overseas, I experienced extraordinary adventures, deep relationships, profound challenges, and more than a few moments that tested everything I believed. It was during those years abroad that I began asking questions I had never allowed myself to ask before. Living in different cultures and building friendships with people whose lives and beliefs looked very different from my own gave me a broader perspective on the world, and on myself.
Eventually, those questions
led me through a season of deconstruction and into a complete reexamination of my faith, identity, and purpose.
What followed was one of the most difficult and transformative seasons of my life. As I pulled at the thread, and my faith came unraveled, I uncovered things that I just couldn't ignore any longer.
I discovered that leaving religion wasn't just about changing beliefs. It was about rebuilding an entire life. I had spent decades learning how to follow god, but I had never learned how to trust and follow myself.
I had to untangle fear, guilt, shame, people-pleasing, and old conditioning while learning who I was apart from the roles and expectations I had carried for so long.
Today, I help others navigate that same journey.
Through one-on-one mentoring, I work with people recovering from religious trauma, ministry burnout, high-control religion, and faith deconstruction. Together, we explore self-trust, values, grief, belonging, identity, and what it means to build a meaningful life after religion.
If you're in that in-between space, no longer who you were, but not yet sure who you're becoming, I want you to know you're not alone.
There is life after deconstruction.
There is meaning beyond certainty.
And there is a way forward.